I Seriously Considered How to Fit a Crib in a Closet . . .

Okay, fine, I admit that I tried to shrug off everyone's warnings about New York apartment hunting.  SF has its own freakshow circuit for that . . . but I was proven wrong.  It's not just the size . . .

Yes, this happened many times.

It's the damn brokers.  They're like secret Soviet Aparatchiks working away in the global heart of capitalism.

And then there's the simple time issue; work + apartment hunting + planning for the baby.

And, let's be honest, you're not always filled with unalloyed joy at the thought of parenthood.

 But eventually I found us a great place -- though it does not look like this:

Full April slide-show on the right.

Folsom Street Fair: Pluralism Baby

Last weekend was San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair.  For the uninitiated, Folsom is a celebration of the leather arts.

My wife and I were on our way to the East Bay during the Fair and passed this Auntie buying fruit while some fair-goers waited for the walk signal.  Two guys in assless chaps and leather cod-pieces didn't faze her at all.  I love San Francisco.

The Dosa Man

My wife's parents threw an amazing party the other night, complete with freshly made dosa.  The man behind the dosa had this great touch where he'd use the little bowl to ladle the batter onto the griddle then smack it a few times and use the flat back of the little bowl to spread the batter, like a crepe paddle.

That was a party.

Bar Exam Highlights

The California Bar exam is three days long, six hours each day.  It brings out some characters . . .

His hair was like a halo around his head, every day.

Some people found it very important to be as comfortable as possible.

Other people did not.  This woman wore stripper heels every single day.

Superfans - US Soccer Fan Fails Part 1

Believe it or not, his outfit is the least of his problems.

Happy as I am that the US managed a tie against England on Saturday, it makes me a bit worried.  There was a certain type of US soccer fan that was bad enough before.  Now?  I'm getting worried.

It can only get worse from here.  Superfans were bad enough when the US never won anything important.  No matter how tiny and inept the other team was, these guys would celebrate like we won the World Cup itself.  If you didn't get excited that we outscored Guam, they'd accuse you of personally holding back the American soccer program.

The worst was that they'd always get excited that we qualified for the Cup.  We play in CONCACAF, guys.  Mexico is good but the rest?  Not so much.  It's like bragging about how you were first in your class in kindergarten.  Nicely done; everyone else was eating paste.

If the US manages to make it into the next round, it's all over.

Cobbles are for Suckers

If there is one word for biking around Munich, it is "civilized." This works on a couple levels. First, there's no antagonism between bikes and cars - they actually give you the right of way and pay attention - making it a lot safer (hardly anyone wears a helmet). Which means, second, that there's no dumb bike culture. Which means, third, you can ride grandad bikes without feeling like a middle-aged guy whose mom packs his lunch.

These are the only bikes you can actually ride while wearing a suit and there aren't many things to make you feel more civilized than biking in a suit. Until you reach the cobble stones. They are uncivilized. They are dumb. It was fine when they were the only sensible alternative to mud and dung but they are officially well past their sell-by date. Hours after a long ride today and my ass still hurts.

There's a batch of urban planners that advocate for reviving cobble stones in the States, claiming they do everything from reduce pedestrian injuries (slower car speeds) to emanate somethingorother that will magically undo all the real and imagined damages the car has wreaked on American community. These people are charlatans.

Michael Jackson, Iran, and Anticipation

I know it's a big deal that Michael Jackson died, and it's a big deal in Germany too (they love him here), and that Iran is holding the world on edge, but I only care about one thing right now.

Counting the Days

Sunday is almsot here . . .

Public Service Announcement

1. Americans do not watch class action suits like they are the Roman games.
2. That woman burned by the McDonald's coffee? She was disfigured for life in some very sad, personal ways, and this had happened to more than McD's customer before. The jury smacked McDonald's because McDonald's was negligent and callous and disregarded basic standards of human decency.
3. We have a more or less non-existent social welfare system. When we get hurt and lose our jobs, we don't still get to take our two week national naptime (I'm looking at you, Holland).
4. Some of us have actually heard of your country and do know where to find it on the map.
5. You need immigrants, you idiots. Shut up and let them make money.
6. Seriously, guy - I know more about your country than you know about mine. Cut me some slack. I really like it here. I happily disfigure your language all the time. I even made a joke in German today. That's the second this week. Yes, dammit - I play soccer all the time . . . and, yes, I understand offsides.

German Legal Term of the Day

"Quotenkonsolidierungsverfahren" = pro rata consolidation procedure.

This is a very specific phrase/word having to do with consolidation of interests in banking. (Here's an old report discussing different views on the subject . . . if you're really that interested, the mention of pro-rata is at the very end.) In some ways, like with some of the other words I've shared, it's no different than shoving an entire English phrase into a single word. But in other ways, it sums up the German approach in one ten-syllable shot.

Despite the fact that German attorneys have all these long words, they use American nicknames for corporate take-overs. And they like them because they make it sound cool; poison pill, saturday night special, white night, black night, green mail, squeeze-out, etc. They make long words, we try and sound like gangsters.

Feed the Birds

Went to London for the weekend. Three observations. First, Frankfurt-Hahn Airport is really a bus station with planes.

Second, if the coffee costs only 70p - don't buy it.

Third, when I woke up in the bus on the way back into town yesterday I actually saw the skyline and thought, "nice to be home."

The European Disunion

I haven't written about the recent EU elections yet (which wrapped up on Sunday after four days of voting) because, frankly, nobody was talking about it. There were articles in the papers but they were stuffed by news of the iminent (and now effective) insolvency of Anachron, the Opel deal, and the Air France search. Last week, one of the Frankfurt papers ran a double-spread about the European Parliament but it's tone was almost like a travelogue, a peek into a far-off alien world.